May 29, 2008


i write this post through the slight haze that is the morning after my 12 year old son's birthday sleepover. the plan was simple and low key: a few boys, some pizza, a movie and some (okay a lot of) video games. the night was indeed simple, but there was nothing low-key about it. there was a lot of laughter, much belching and soda did come flying out of someone's nose. i should have started a tally on how many times i heard the word dude. when they came back from the movie a few hours later completley wired i questioned my sanity as i cut a piece of sugary, frosting laden cake for them.

as the boys were licking the last bit of frosting off the plates and at the same time wandering about the house looking for the next activity, one boy spies a pile of games on a bookshelf and i hear this priceless exchange:

boy 1: lets play perfection!
boy 2: dude, that game scares the crap out of me.

it cracks me up. they can play scary video games, see scary movies and not blink an eye; but man, that timer runs out and the tray pops up splaying little plastic geometric shapes everywhere and a bunch of twelve year old boys scream like little girls. don't even get me started on the laughter and screaming that the buzzer would elicit when trying to remove the brain freeze ice cream cone from the guys' head on operation.

despite the embarrassing plethora of computer and video games in our house, it was the good old-fashioned games that held the most allure last night. after perfection it was onto scrabble, where i watched a boy who played it for the first time ever use up all his tiles on the first word and get 63 points on another word.

i've sent them all outside now and am almost finished with my pot cup of coffee. maybe i should go see if i can dig up our slip n slide. bet they'd have a great time with that.

May 27, 2008

i am having an affair

i ran again today. shocking, but true.

i know there are a few loyal readers like betsy and robin who think i have abandoned running altogether. and i know nancy thinks i have left the building. sometimes i wonder the same, my dear, faithful readers and blogfriends. believe me, there have been many a day where i wondered if i'd be one of those runners-turned-cyclists who never once look back at running in that see-ya, it was nice knowing you, i'm so over you way.

i remember lying in bed the night i hit the registration button for my first bike race, the adrenaline still pumping from hitting a simple little computer key. i told my husband i felt like i was cheating on running. he said i wasn't cheating, it was just going to be a one night stand. trouble is, the one night stand has turned into a full blown shameless affair. and it feels so gooooood.

it is completely in my nature to go off half cocked over one thing. to obsess. to soak up every single thing i can about one thing. i'm all or nothing. my body and mind needed something else desperately and they found it on the bike. i dropped running like a bad habit. that said, i realize the importance of cross training. um, cause all the cycling books that are piled up next to my bed that i am devouring say so. and there's a bunch of other damn blog posts talking about the importance of cross-training, dammit.

so, me and running are trying to get back together. just for the cross training. i'm not sure we really like each other right now, but we're working through it. and we totally get that the whole cross-training thing is important. (i am also mildly amused by my annoyance over the fact that a run will take away from my bike time, there was a time not so long ago that i hated my bike when i was on it cause it meant i wasn't running - funny how times change). but i do think we need to keep taking our running rendezvous' off road because i feel like me and running can just fly in the trails. as soon as we hit the road, we come to a crushing, walking halt until we find another trail where we can fly again. in the trails we can forget old times, old pr's. there are no paces to match or meet. the trails are all new. no comparisons. we're just running. and that's about it. i'm just running. more to remind my muscles and bones what its' like than anything else; because while me and running are getting reacquainted in the trails; i fully plan to carry on this shameless, torrid affair with my bike.

does this make me a slut?

May 24, 2008

biggest week evah

i just finished wincing my way through sticking my legs.
it was a big bike week.
170 miles big.

i took monday off to recover from two days of racing, then went on a regular tuesday night club ride. without a doubt, it was my best ride ever. i've been waiting for this ride and that feeling i used to get on a run - that perfect, zen-like feeling that it was all coming together and i was doing exactly what i was meant to be doing. i never had this on the bike - up until now it was on my list of things that the bike never gave me. but i got it big on tuesday. iambikergirlhearmeroar. seemeclimb. seemeride. i had more juice than i knew what to do with and i wanted to burn it all up on the ride. i kept trying, but couldn't get rid of all the energy - i had it to spare when the ride was over and wished the ride wasn't over. the stored energy spilled over into the next mornings' intervals and i just figured i was the coolest chick ever.

but then, my husband must have thought i was getting too full of myself. he took me on a regular thursday night ride; and as i looked at the people gathered for the ride, i started to get a little nervous. they looked hardcore. they looked fast. i was trying out my flashpoints again, but i wasn't so sure they were going to help me. and as we started through the park i knew they weren't going to help me and i silently cursed my husband who was up in front of the pack jacking up the pace. as we were coming out of the park and i found myself in hyperventilating mode, i thought my friend was the biggest genius i had ever met when she said she was out, she was going to spin in the park. and the thought briefly occured to me as i see the group ahead & the gap is so big between me and the majority, its embarrassing. i slow down. i think, i'll go find my friend and spin the park. but then, the cycling gods smiled down on me in the form of traffic and a stop sign and i picked it up and caught them - and then sucked wheels and sucked wind for about 30 miles. it was an ass-kicking hard ride, but i figured i was due for one. it had been a whole 5 days since i got my ass kicked in a windy criterium. and tuesday's ride was just too good to be true. but i stuck with the whole damn ride, was with a group the entire time, and was thrilled at the end to participate in a sprint to the finish and then sit on the deck of the bike shop with the gang and have a beer.

another big ride yesterday with some old friends and new, brought my weekly total to 170. my biggest week ever. i also got the pleasure of experiencing my first flat tire evah. we're riding. we're riding. in a two-up pace line. (that is 2 riders right next to each other, in a line - 2x2). downhill. i'm chatting with the guy next to me. about his kids, schools, you know - the stuff you chat about as you fly down a hill at 31 mph. the next thing i hear (after the word HOLE! is yelled down the line) is what sounds like metal flying off the back of my bike and i swear, i think it is my back tire and i am amazed at how i am staying upright. then i hear friend behind me yell and i hear people saying she has a flat, and some people are still riding and i am still riding and i know something is wrong with my bike, but i don't know what - i pull over and say i think i have a flat too. i never saw the hole and hit it dead on, same as my friend behind me. everyone was amazed that we stayed upright and i secretly thought "how cool are we? we can flat at 31mph going downhill and not crash". i was also happy that there were a bunch of people there with extra tubes, pumps, and tire-changing know how. i made a note to myself to get a tire changing lesson for my big 55 mile road race in a few weeks. there won't be a bunch of people there to help me.

so that was my week. post two races; i kicked ass on two rides, got my ass kicked on another, flatted out and did my longest ride ever without pancakes in between. 170 miles feels pretty good. feels especially good now that i'm done sticking my quads.

May 20, 2008

nutshell race report

i had a whole race report written out from sunday's circuit race. a race that was infinitely better than the previous days race. the report was agonizingly long and detailed every single sprint and every single lap. we are talking epic race report. i thought i'd spare y'all the minutiae. although just say the word and i'll hit publish. really, i will. i spent the sort of time on it that makes me really wish i got paid to do this bloggy thing.

here's the nutshell report:

we camped in the airstream at the course. the wind howled and it rained all night. i woke up in a foul mood. i was still fuming about dfl previous day and didn't want to race in the rain. i was tired and cranky. but it cleared up. i warmed up. i cheered up and then i lined up. i stayed with pack whole time. i fell off on a few turns. the voice inside my head screamed at me: you are not falling off. not in this race! i totally listen to the scary mad voice in my head and get back on the pack way fast. i sprinted some laps for the primes (pronounced preem - my excrutiatingly long race report gave a little lesson on what this is). i won some points on a point lap (again, there was explanation in the epic report). i raced well and smart. seeing as i was not in a hyperventilating chase for the lead group and i was actually in the group, i was in my first field sprint ever (everyone in pack sprints to finish) and i took 4th place.

after the race, my teammate and i poured ourselves a cup of coffee with a little shot of bourbon in it, sat in some lawn chairs in the sun and with cowbells and the bourbon coffee in hand, we cheered on the next few races. it was a great day. a really great day.

May 19, 2008

hello, old friend

today, for the first time in 17 days, i was dying to run. i knew this was a feeling that needed to be embraced before it passed and my window of desire closed. i blew the dust off my running shoes, rummaged through the running drawer that hadn't been opened in weeks - dug out some shorts, a marathon top, plugged into some tunes and headed out the door before i could hear my bike ask me where i was going without it.

i had a plan today. the plan included taking my run off the road and up into the trails. i had been wanting to to try out the trails for so long and figured there was no time like the present. for all i knew it could be another 17 days before i wanted to run again. i crossed the bridge that would have taken me into the park, but instead of following my usual route; i saw a path that disapeared into the woods and i just ran right up.

and i ran and ran and ran. over rocks, tree roots, logs, streams, turtles, hills, mud, puddles and switchbacks. i felt like i was flying and could run forever - as long as i was on a trail. as soon as i hit a road, i slowed down or walked while i searched out another trail to tackle. out on the trails with nothing under me but my own two feet, that old running love came back just a bit. it's nice to get back together with an old friend & try out something new.

May 18, 2008


i am sure y'all know exactly what DFL means. for those who don't, it stands for dead fucking last. which refers to my finishing position at my first ever criterium race yesterday. dead last, deader than a doorknob, "is there still someone out on the course?" last. dead fucking last. but! 'dead fucking last' trumps 'did not finish' which trumps 'did not start', yes? i was scared of trying this crit, but i did it. i got out there, faced my fear & stared the beast down. problem was - the beast chewed me up, spit me out & left me for dead. but i did it.

i cannot tell you how much i did not want to finish. it sucked. i hated it. but i finished. i wanted someone to shoot me & put me out of my damn misery. i hated my bike, hated racing. i have never wanted to quit something so badly in my entire life.

after a warm up on the trainer at the marathon-turned-bike-race mobile, i pre-rode the course with my teammate. i was pleasantly surprised by the fact that the turns were not as scary as i anticipated. i liked that i didn't have to white-knuckle brake through them (i was also not pre-riding course at race pace - everything changes at race pace). it was a good course, with lots of great spectators. and then. there was the wind. enormous gusts of wind. my husband raced right before me on the snazzy new flash points i won at the last race & i had been dying to debut them in a race - but he told me i would not be racing them that day - it was just too windy. windy is an understatement. once i started the race, it wasn't the speed or the turns that scared me. it was the wind. the course was in downtown lexington and the wind would whip between buildings at certain spots on the course and you would get hit with a blast that blew you across the road. there were other points where i was riding into such a headwind i would have bet anything i was just pedaling on a trainer. i was going nowhere.

enough about the brutal wind. back to me. i got spit off the back early. actually, i spit myself off the back. i could have kept up a bit longer if the wind didn't freak me out. it jacked with the wheels and almost knocked me over more than once. it sucked any inkling (and there was only an inkling) of confidence away. so now i was riding solo. in a crit. in the wind. so, i did what i usually do in races. ride my ass off all alone.

i looked at my watch at one point and thought i must have about 2 more laps to go.
thank god its almost over.
ha. silly newbie crit racer girl.
your misery has not even begun.

(quick lesson for my runner friends: a crit is a short circuitous bike race with a bunch of turns - you do several laps for a pre-determined amount of time. my race was 30 minutes. so, you pass the start/finish line every time you come around the loop - the race directors are at this point, holding up a sign with the number of laps left till finish.)

just as i think it has got to be over soon, i come up to the start/finish and saw a sign with the number 5 being held up. this meant 5 more laps. now i really wanted someone to shoot me. i felt like i had been racing for an hour. going into the next turn, i get lapped by the national champion. i was waiting for her. knew that would happen. was slightly pleased it took longer than i thought. the feeling of slightly pleased lasted for about a nano-second. another brutal, windy solo lap. my new mantra is:

i want out. i want out.

i fully intended to pull myself. (and by 'pull myself', i mean quit. pull over. i'm out. get off my bike. have a beer, throwup and cry.) i could not put up with the misery any longer. i didn't care that i was last, it just hurt so damn much. but each time i came up to the start finish, i kept going. and then, i got lapped by the second group. that's when i started to wonder - at what point do you pull yourself?

is it when you get lapped by the national champion?
is it when you get lapped by the first group?
is it when you get lapped by the girl who STOPPED to take her asthma medication & then smokes you?
is it when you get lapped by the second group?

my husband and a teammate yelled to me at one point “get in the drops! get in the drops!” (down in the drops on your handlebars to be more aerodynamic and have more control through the turns - in my misery, this never occurred to me). i thought he was yelling at me to drop out. i even slowed down and yelled back - "what? drop out?!" he would never have been so kind. i kept going.

when i realized i was not actually going to pull myself, i started to will the race directors to do the dirty deed for me. (in some races, once you get lapped they will pull you off the course). but each time i came up to the start/finish, nobody ever pulled me. i tried to give them the death-please-put-me-out-of-my-fucking-misery stare each time i came around. but those damn directors never pulled me.

the only thing that kept me going was the people cheering me on. the best and most vocal group was a bunch of people who had moved their couches and barkaloungers out onto the sidewalk, started drinking at 9 am and were the best damn cheering section i have ever heard in my life. i would later go back to this party on the corner with my teammate after we had finished and changed and watched the mens' 3/4 race from their couch with beer in hand.

i did finish the damn race and it hurt like a mother. as always, i try to find some sort of comparison to running, and at one point was thinking it had nothing on the misery of mile 24 of a marathon. but then again, i have forgotten the pain of a marathon. its' like giving birth. you forget about it or you would never have another baby or run another marathon. but i swear, there was a point during the race where i thought i'd rather give birth, or run a marathon and turn around and run back to the start. the pain of my first crit was pure hell. but i loved hearing all the 'my first crit' stories from other racers. apparently, it's hell for almost everyone. and it made me feel so much better to hear from veteran racers that it was some of the worst wind conditions they had ever experienced.

we went to dinner with some teammates afterwards. here's what i love about this whole bike racing/team thing: you sit down to dinner with more experienced racers, who, without any qualms, or worry over your reaction, will say: "you wanna know what you did wrong?" hell yes, i want to know what i did wrong. i know a bunch of stuff that i did wrong, but am sure there's a laundry list of other things that never occurred to me.

here's what i learned (and was told): getting down in the drops was not only going to help me break the brutal wind, it would have helped me corner better. cool. duly noted. no one ever told me this. the other thing? i though that once you got lapped, the pack that lapped you was essentially in another race and you could not get on their wheels. this is wrong. when the second group passed me, i heard someone yell "get on their wheel!". i didn't, because i thought it was not allowed. you can get on their wheel, you just can't help them (i.e; do any pulls at the front of the group) - there was no way i could have helped anyone anyway. i could barely help myself, i was in survival mode; but had i known it was ok to get on their wheel, i may have had a better last few laps.

this was my 4th bike race and the first race that was no fun. no fun whatsoever. it sucked. i hated it. but its' the day after now and i've stopped the hating. i learned so much. i learned a little bit more about cornering. i learned a little bit more about facing that fear. i learned that criteriums are hard as shit and while they may not be my thing, i plan to give it another go this july. i learned don't ever quit, don't ever pull out or give up, because i was overjoyed today to see a finish number next to my name instead of a DNF. i now have 5 race starts under my belt. it feels pretty damn good. i learned that as much as it sucks sometimes, i love racing my bike.

i did another race today. an entirely different race with an entirely different outcome. that report forthcoming.

May 17, 2008

race weekend

the marathon mobile is all packed up for a short trip to lexington, kentucky for not a marathon, but two bike races this weekend. it has been a while since i last raced and i am excited to see what progress has been made - if any. please god, let me have made some major progress.

it was only going to be a one-race weekend for me, i had been planning on doing a circuit race tomorrow, but decided at the last minute to throw in a criterium today. for my loyal runner friends in case you don't know what a criterium is; its a short race (usually under a mile) with lots of turns. think: riding shit ass fast around a bunch of city blocks with 90 degree turns, for 30 hair-raising minutes. SCARY. i wasn't going to sign up for this race for just that reason. i thought it was scary. then i knew i had to sign up for it for just that reason - to get over the fear and just jump in, and to have another race start under my belt. i kid you not when i say that i got up early this morning to read the chapter on racing criteriums in my new race tactic book.

tomorrow's race is actually the one i am more excited about, because tomorrow i finally get to race against women in my own category - which is the beginner category 4. i will not be lined up with the national women's champion as i have been in every other race (and will be today). i'm eager to race with my own kind and see how it goes, and since i have done the type of race before (a 2 mile circuit for 30 minutes), i think i'll have a better gauge tomorrow of any progress on runner girl turned biker chick thing.

i've been riding nearly 150 miles a week, i've been learning about race tactics and riding smarter. i'm going into today's race with a totally open mind - rolling up to the start will be good. not crashing will be great. getting lapped is highly likely, getting pulled from race because i got lapped is a possibility. finishing would be awesome. i have slightly loftier goals for tomorrows race. we'll just see how it all goes. curiously, as in all previous bike races (you know, all 3), the pre-race sleepless nights and anxiety are absent. this is what floors me about all of this. i'm so much more relaxed. i haven't busted my ass for 4 months and bet the farm on one day. i've just been riding my bike. having a blast. if things don't go well this weekend, there will be another one in a few weeks.

i will bust my ass for 4 months and bet the farm on one day again, (that day may be in february now - still on the fence) - but in the meantime, i've got to get back to that chapter on criteriums.

May 10, 2008

will ride for pancakes

i have heard whisperings about a ride around here called the pancake ride. i heard something about it last year when i just started riding, then never heard it again. then, about a month ago, the words 'pancake ride' were uttered by a teamate who invited me to come along on this mystery ride a few weeks' ago - i couldn't go then, but ever since, i have been dying to see what this pancake ride was all about. at lunch yesterday when a friend mentioned that there was a regular saturday ride out to eminence, kentucky leaving a local park at 7 am on saturday mornings, my ears perked up. the only thing i knew about the pancake ride, other than the fact that there are pancakes, was that it went out to eminence. i almost jumped out of my seat - "is it the pancake ride?". yes indeedy it was. i was in. hook, line & pancake. i dragged my husband and a friend with me.

when the alarm went off at 5:30 this morning, my husband wasn't liking the pancake ride idea so much - he suggested 3 other rides that were leaving later in the day. but i was hell bent on riding 60 miles for pancakes and would not be deterred. we really had no idea what to expect - all we knew was it was 30 miles to pancakes and 30 miles back and we'd be rolling at an average of 20mph. it was exactly 30 miles out, 30 miles back & we maintained exactly an average of 20 mph. this ride has been going on a long time - they have it down to a science.

we started rolling promptly at 7, and while things were a little jacked up and wiggy to start, it didn't take long for the group to get a groove and start a nice rotating paceline that we kept for almost the entire 30 miles out. the morning was a little chilly, there was a blanket of mist, we rode on big wide gorgeous country roads, past farms, horses and those fences that go on for miles and saw the sun rise over it all. it was picture postcard perfect.

the chat-n-nibble restaurant in eminence kentucky is a tiny little dive-y spot in a tiny little town by some railroad tracks. i loved it all - i loved the name of the restaurant, the bikes leaning up against it, tables all pushed together, everyone all squished in, introducing ourselves if we hadn't already gotten a chance to chat while riding. there was a lot of chatter at the chat-n-nibble. no menus - you just order two pancakes and coffee. this is the pancake ride. that's what you order. and you better woof it down, cause the pancake riders keep a tight schedule.

the mist long gone, the sun shining, and bellies full of mid-ride sustenance, our ride back was even faster. i almost died when in the paceline i took a split second to look at my speed thingy and saw numbers like 25, 26, 27 and then 30. holy crap, this is fast. this was the longest ride i have ever been on. the longest and the fastest. steven (my husband, a.k.a. coach) was curious to see how my marathon legs would feel around 45 miles in to the ride. about 41 miles in, i had gotten spit off the back and was feeling the hurt as i rode solo trying just to keep someone in sight so i didn't get lost. i was overjoyed to be collected around mile 45 or so by the group behind me and getting back in a paceline instantly helped get my mojo back. i finished strong - and as the only girl in a ride with 12 guys, in pacelines that reached 30 mph on occasion; i think i held my own pretty well and am over the moon with how it all went.

this was one of the most fun rides i have ever been on. and i think i say that now after every ride. we didn't know what to expect, other than 60 miles with pancakes in between - but i just had that warm fuzzy feeling that it was going to be just about as perfect as it was. we met some great people, had a nice long ride, and enjoyed two pancakes and a cup of coffee at the chat-n-nibble in between the miles.

sixty miles later, i felt amazing. i've said it before, i'll just keep saying it - i cannot get enough of the very literal change of pace this cycling offers; and today's ride was just the ultimate perfect ride. i'm on a cloud. a cloud made of pancakes.

May 8, 2008

attack of the skirts

i went on my usual monday night chicks-only skirt ride this past monday; but there was nothing usual about it. usually, we ride and do some drills - hill repeats or intervals, or we have a cornering and bike handling clinic and then a mock crit. usually, we ride and then collect at certain places to get tips and instructions.

we took things up a notch on monday - a big, quads screaming, lactate threshold burning notch. you see, there is a weekly ride in town that has become known as the tuesday night worlds' (a.k.a. TNW) - i have never been on this ride but hear all about it from my husband. the ride is comprised of local category 1,2 and 3 racers. it is a massive testosterone-fest of a weekly race; complete with attacks, surges, breaks and a whole bunch of other bike racy terms i am only just now learning about.

monday nights' ride was the skirt version of the tuesday night worlds'; minus the testosterone. thus, it was way cooler. we were pre-warned about the ride - there were going to be surges, there were going to be attacks, people were going to get dropped. we knew going in what it would be like - it was the skirt worlds'.

there were seven of us, a mix of seasoned racers, new racers and triathletes. i went into the ride with strict intructions from my coach (a.k.a my husband) on how to ride, what to do when and what not to do. my goal was to make it to the end without getting my ass handed to me. i knew going into this ride what my current limitations were. i do not have a huge bike base right now, i'm just using whatever is leftover from my running base. i'm not strong enough (yet!) to do any long pulls or attacks and hope to make it to the end in one piece. so, my goal was to ride smart. if i found myself on the front, i was to do a short pull and then pull off. i was to hang on to the breaks, push it and suffer through the surge knowing that it would not last. i was to save myself for the hill climb that would come when we turned off a fast & furious ride down river road. mostly, i was to get on a wheel, stay there and suck it.

for the most part, the ride smart plan worked. some of the surges and attacks i could hang onto. others, not so much. i fell off at one point -so much so that i was dropping f-bombs all over the place, hauling ass, sucking wheels and sucking wind trading pulls to get up to one person, to then get up to the group. despite this minor hyperventilating setback, it was a hugely successful ride for me. i did hang on to some attacks. i didn't burn up all my matches. i did short pulls. and while i was dying on some of the flats (i always am) i felt great on the climbs and had juice at the end of the ride. nobody handed my ass to me.

here's what i loved most: seeing when the attacks would happen. our skirt rides leader would literally annouce that someone was about to attack - it wasn't so much to ruin the attackers fun, but more so that we could learn. which was great for me seeing as in the three races i have been in, i had no idea what the hell was going on until it was far too late: i'd be off the back and the rabbit chase was on -- i would see them, through my haze of hyperventilation - riding slowly. slowly! i knew my recovery time was just up ahead, sucking someone's wheel. but now i know, thanks to my husbands' insistence that i join the club rides again and thanks to last monday nights' skirt ride, that if you can just hang onto that initial surge, that initial attack - it will. slow. down.

it is a great group of girls. i love the support they'll give to a newbie by saying "get on my wheel!" and the inspiration they provide when they are oh so hard to catch. with another skirt worlds' ride this monday, i am hoping that i will have learned a little bit more about riding smarter and will be able to recognize the attacks in next weekends' race and hang on, before its too late.

May 4, 2008

the club ride

i am back on the club ride program. these are the same rides that my husband would drag me kicking and screaming to last summer. the same rides that i would white knuckle my way through. the same rides where i perfected the art of hyperventilating and the negative self talk that was "i so do not belong here".

i got sick of the hyperventilating. i got sick of chasing the damn group. i got sick of being told i had to get on someone's wheel or i was gonna get hosed. i did have a few brief shining moments on these rides; they all involved climbing a hill fairly victoriously only to be caught again on the downhill and promptly dropped. i took myself off these self-defeating rides at some point last year & wiped my hands clean of them. i didn't need no stinkin' club ride. i was a runner, anyway.

well. i am back on the club ride (entirely self imposed); and have been for about 3 weeks now. i wanted more practice in a pack for the bike races i am now doing. my husband said if i can handle myself in the pack that is a club ride, i can be ready for anything in a race.

i will never forget how i felt the first day i rode up to a club ride meeting place with my husband. i thought surely, everyone could see my heart beating out of my chest. the intimidation factor upon rolling up to a group of people all kitted out in cool team uniforms was enormous. but now? now i ride up to the club ride with three races under my belt all kitted out in my own team uniform.

i used to dread the moment that i got spit off the back and found myself all alone. but now, even though i may still fall off the back and find myself all alone; its its the back of the front group, and i am still part of a team - cause my jersey and shorts say so. and i am totally digging that and eating it up. i love seeing everyone's green jersey and knowing that's who i need to be with. and when you're with them; training, riding and racing tips are handed out like candy.

i need to ride this wave for a little while. and while i feel its' almost sacriledge to say it - there is something here that the running never gave me; and i need to keep figuring it out. i know this blog is called see zanne run; but i just hope y'all will indulge me (take note, yankee girl just said y'all) - if you haven't figured it out already, i really think its gonna be a little more of see zanne ride. so even though i rode through the park today & saw a group of people running the trails and thought that looked really fun, and was completely intrigued by the people at the park running with parachutes attached to their backs (someone please tell me what that is all about, cause i am dying to know); and i'll keep running a little bit, just to make sure my legs don't forget how to do it - this sabbatical from running may be extended until further notice.

there's something to be said for lining up at the start line of your first ever bike race, and then the next and the next and not feeling the slightest bit nervous. and there is something to be said for finally reaching your goal of finishing the club ride with the front pack - okay, i didn't finish with the front pack, but rather was rain-delay dead last on the front pack. but still. it was the front pack and pack number two didn't roll in until a good 5 minutes later. there's always next week. at any rate - there's something to be said for it all and i don't know what it is, but i intend to find out. its either complete stupidity, or the sign of promise. i need to figure out which one it is.

May 1, 2008

do you have a plan?

this is what my husband asked me before i headed out for a run this morning. i took a break from my break from running to, ah - run. i actually wanted to run and i thought this was a desire that should be embraced. so as i headed out for the first time in a week, i had no plan other than to run as long as my legs would carry me, and to hope that no one i knew saw me walking should the need arise.

the need indeed arise. five miles felt crazy hard. it wasn't pretty, it wasn't fun. i didn't wonder what the hell i've been missing. my ass hurts. my back hurts and my knee is squishing. that wanting to run disappeared pretty quickly once i was actually running.

so, do i have a plan? yeah - right now i gotta go lie on top of a tennis ball to get the knot out of my lower back. that's my plan. beyond that, i got nothing. actually, i have plenty of bike riding plans - and do think i need to come up with some sort of training plan for my next few race endeavors. but as far as running goes i discovered this morning that sadly, or not so sadly (which is sort of sad); i didn't really miss the running. maybe i just need to be more patient, not sure exactly what i expected from a once-a-week run. but, as me and my aching back walked the last quarter mile home this morning, i thought maybe it was running on the road that i didn't miss and it may very well be time to hit the trails. its still running. but its different. and i still really need different.

so, maybe some new trail shoes are my plan.