morning debates.

should i or shouldn't i?
now or later?
17 miles in the pre-dawn 23 degrees or back to bed?
i am a wuss. i chose the later.

but not before getting up at the crack of dawn, having breakfast, getting fully geared up and ready to go and taking procrastination to new levels. but i had been up for over an hour and wasn't getting any more alert. i wasn't feeling that well. a sore throat had made an appearance overnight and i figured i'd have to get back on my salt water gargling & snorting plan asap to nip whetever it was in the bud. once i was fully satisfied that i had wasted all the time i possibly could, and could no longer prolong the inevitable seventeen miles that lay ahead, i went outside. and stood there. it was so dark and so cold. my running tights may as well have been my pajama bottoms. they flet flimsy and useless. i turned around and came back inside. then i went back out. then i came back in again.

my husband asks what was wrong with me. nothing. nothing is wrong. except for the fact that i.do.not.want.to.do.this. do i have to be a marathoner? can't i just pretend i am not? and so the negotiations begin. he says do the run later. i say no, that never happens. something will get in the way and mygodits17milesnothingcangetinthewayofalongrunihavetogo. but in no time, i am gratefully pulling off my gloves and fuel belt, taking my sneakers off and heading back up to bed. and i climb in, running clothes, hat and all and go back to sleep. and dream about running, in all things - a torrential downpour.

but i am up now, and feeling a little bit better. my husband will be home in a few hours and i'll head out for my last long run of 2007. for a nice grand total of 1551 miles for the year.