lost

if its thursday, then it is big dog run day. and if it is big dog run day it is highly likely that i will be sucking wind, living for the water stop and watching my heartrate to make sure i'm not gonna die soon. but one thing that is not likely though is getting lost. until today.

so i'm running. i'm running. and i'm even chatting. making small talk. and i am not good at small talk and especially not good while running; cause its hard to make small talk when you are sucking wind. chatting can really only take place in the first 15 minutes, and if i'm lucky - the full first half; but after that, i cross the threshold into wayoutofconversation zone and all bets are off. but i digress. i'm running. i'm running. then, without warning, the group gets shot out of a cannon. without me. and i'm off the back. and its early in the run. and i'm usually disappointed in myself when i am off the back like this, especially within the first 30 minutes; but i know the water stop is not far and i'll catch them there & be able to regroup. i peer into the park as i come up to it. and i am mentally & physically slowing down a bit. i'm looking for them around the water fountain. i'm not wearing my glasses, but i am pretty sure those bushes are not them. oh god. they did not stop for water.

i am so conditioned on these runs to expect a water stop 30 minutes in, that if we don't stop it messes with my mojo. i mean, that's what we do. we stop. for water. its my favorite part of the run. the actual stopping of the shitfast wind sucking running. for just a minute. that way, i can look at these runs like two shitfast 30 minute runs rather than one long agonizing hour one. and its like getting to take an instant mulligan. if the first 30 didn't go so well, i get to rest for 1 minute and try again.

they didn't stop. and now my physical slow down upon nearing the fountain meant i was even farther behind the group. so far behind that i could no longer see anyone. ok. no big deal. just keep running. but the thing about these thursday runs is the fact that the singular focus to just keep up, coupled with the oxygen deprivation doesn't leave room for paying attention to where i actually am. and so, i got lost. while i had a general idea of where i was, meaning that i knew what neighborhood i was in; i really didn't know exactly where in that neighborhood or in which direction the main road or the park where we begin the runs was located. lets just say i had gotten a little turned around and there was a point at which i was running through a neighborhood and just had to stop and take stock. wait a minute! where am i?!?

i got my bearings and zigzagged my way to the main road, whereupon i looked at my watch and realized i'd be at the finish right around the same time as everyone else. like i didn't even fall off the back or get lost. love it when it all just works out.