i didn’t see it coming. Isn’t that by definition what a rogue wave is? Unpredictable. Random. Unforeseen.
this post could also be titled: dedication. Because never in my life would I have thought that while on a road trip in our RV, I would wake up the morning after a stopover at the Flying J truck stop and go for a RUN.
but that is exactly what I did. I had been fretting (I’m really good at fretting) about how I would possibly get Thursday’s run in knowing we’d be on the road … I did not want to rearrange days or commit the unthinkable training sin of deviating from the schedule. I mean, how could I live with myself for 12 hours sitting in the RV, eating Pringles - knowing I skipped a run?
Now, I can be a total scaredycatgirlygirlworrywart & I wondered about the safety of leaving for a run, from a truck stop in the middle of nowhere. So I brought my phone, put on my watch & road id bracelet and headed out – hoping that Hannibal Lechter wouldn’t drive by in his van & toss me in. My plan was to go out 30 minutes & turn around.
My husband takes a picture of me in the parking lot … one last photo – you know, for the “Have you seen this Girl?” bit on the news … she was last seen running down obscure state road 1234 wearing all black.
And I’m off … wtf? Why are all you people beeping at me? Never seen a girl running before? Oh. My god. Ok … I see. This is the highway entrance. Yes. ok … will turn around.
Ah, much better - this looks like nice obscure road from which to get abducted.
So im running, im running. And its raining, its raining. And I think – holy shit. I am dedicated. I am running. In the rain. In the middle of nowhere. And the boogie man could so totally get me.
And so, in order to keep my mind off that boogie man, a.k.a Hannibal Lechter and the fact that it weas highly likely he was going to drive by any minute, I started to count smooshed caracasses.
Lost count at 15 … I gave bonus points for severed limbs near the carnage.
What are those? Sneakers? On the side of the road? One is still in a box … oh lord, those are probably from the last girl who got tossed in a van.
Have I mentioned it was raining? Have I mentioned that people drive shit ass fast on obscure state roads? Have I mentioned I had freaked myself the hell out with crazy thoughts in my head? (I’m so good at this, I could hold seminars) -- Despite this, though – it must be noted – it was a very good run.
and then, a van came by. and I thought this is it ... he’s headed right for me. I considered pre-dialing 911 into the phone. and I’m so busy thinking that I am running my last few steps while at the same time wondering if I could outrun shit ass fast van that I fail to notice the small pond on the side of the road that I am running by – the very same small pond that Hannibal’s van is about to drive through.
and that’s when it hit me.
they exist people.
i got whacked with one.
wall of water.
so, I ask you - if a runner girl and a van travelling in opposite directions on an obscure state road, converge upon a small pond on said road, and the runner girl is running about 6.8 miles per hour, and the van is going a kabillion miles an hour, and the runner girl lets out a big girly yelp at the wall of water that envelops her and then dissolves into hysterical laughter, did the runner girl complete her entire run, did she do her 2x8:00 steady states & if so, what was her pace?