in a nutshell:
i was on.
then i was off.
then i was on again.
and i stayed. for a bit.
then i was off again.
and i stayed off.
but coach stayed with me the whole second half.
i was discouraged that the group had once again gotten so far ahead.
i thought it was going to be my week. to stay the whole time.
i was driving myself crazy with all my heavy breathing, grunting & the occasional spit,
i barely eeked out: i'm terrible company. you can go ahead.
he knew when i was losing focus. he'd get me back on track.
i don't even know what he said. i think he said: focus.
i felt so slow.
but i'd look at my heartrate, and knew that while it didn't feel like it,
i was going faster.
this whole feeling slow when i am actually flying thing completely eludes me.
he asked if i had anything left. i didn't know. couldn't tell.
but i tried to muster it up from somewhere.
we're close now - we can take it down for the last little bit.
up the hill. to the park.
we're done. i'm done.
elated it was over.
more elated when he tells me our pace.
first half fast. second half faster. way. faster.
it was still my week.