May 23, 2007

angry girl

i don't know if there are stages of recovery ... am sure if i googled it, there would be.
right now - i'm in the pissed off stage.
is there one of those?
frustration & impatience have moved in ... they aren't going anywhere & i don't really feel like asking them to leave. i'm too pissed. there's room for all of us.

i've been really good. i didn't run for 12 whole &*%^^&* days ... and when i was given the go ahead to try, i did exactly what she said - no more, no less. and then, the next day - i didn't even run again. i didn't even bike - i thought, lets do one full day of rest, just for good measure.

back on the mill at pt today - 2 miles ... wonder if the little old lady next to me heard me muttering fuckfuckfuck (i muttered it way more than a mere 3x, but will spare you) under my breath when i realized that the pain in my way lower back/upper ass was there again.

not whispering. not screaming either, but i heard it loud & clear.

back to the table for a workover. i got stretched, pretzeled, twisted, yanked. i had to jump up down on left leg. OW. on both legs. not a problem. back bends ... a bunch of em ... leg manipulation stuff ... ooh, ouch - hurts right there. hip capsule? what the hell is that? she stretched it. i must google it.

she thinks that perhaps all the leg/hip pain is referred pain from something going on in my back. since that's where the pain originates when running. oy vey. will this end? i so wanted to have a nice clean diagnosis: "oh, you have injured your thingymajingy ... this is how i fix it & get you back on the road again in no time".

this is not so much the case. she seems perplexed. and now i'm pissed.

i can run on grass. flat grass (i.e. no trail running). slowly. for no more than 6 miles or when it starts to hurt - whichever comes first. i left pt & stubbornly went to the park to run. on grass. slowly. 2.4 miles is what came first. i stopped.

there's a clock over there that is ticking. ticking. ticking.
there's a girl here who is dying to run.
my demeanor shows it. my husband could quite possibly have to put me in that rubber room soon.


Unknown said...


I'm so sorry to heat that; it totally sucks. Do you incorporate any abdominal work into your exercise routine, or have you ever tried Pilates? I used to be plagued with lower back pain (which often showed up as hip pain), so I started doing a lot of core work (of course, losing 40 pounds also helped!). I'm certainly no expert, but perhaps you could look into that (once you're given the go ahead, of course!)


P.S. If you're interested in Pilates, I highly recommend seeking out a class. The moves are VERY subtle and can be difficult to do properly if you're just watching a video.

zanne said...

Thanks betsy ... funny you should mention core work, because yes - both therapists told me i really needed to improve in this area (i thought my daily crunches were enough - guess not!). I found a link on the Mayo Clinic site that has some good ones, including some of the ones my pt gave me - have been doing them for a couple of days - and you're right - they are indeed very subtle! I am considering a pilates class too - something new to blog about! thanks for your tips & thanks for visiting!!

Vickie said...

Is it piriformis? I had this several years ago. The description you give reminds me of it somewhat, but it is mainly a severe pain in the butt. I would think going to PT they would figure this out though, so look it up and see if the symptoms fit. Running or not doesn't clear it up. Not running only lessens your fitness, so when you get it cleared up and are ready to hit the road again, it is likely to flare up all over again unless you know how to treat it before you get to flareup. If after you research it you think this is what it is, e-mail me and I can tell you what worked for me.