off the back

way the hell off the back.
it's 5 days after a half marathon ... thought i might get a reprieve from the big dog run ... not so much. it's my own damn fault, really.
i got a text from my coach last night: am i picking you up tomorrow?
i wonder: is this a test? what's my answer? i don't think i've actually ever been given the choice of going ...
am i supposed to say no? because i should be "recovering" -- in other words, not going out to run another "race" (big dog runs may as well be a race) 5 days later?
but if i say no - then does that mean i've come down with a serious case of wussitis?
so before i could analyze anymore - i text back: yes.

this morning, i felt like i was still sleeping during the first mile ... then, after the first hill. i regretted my "yes" response.
i fell so far off the back it was just silly.
thankfully, so did someone else & the two of us ran together to the halfway water stop.

my legs were jello.
they had a 20 mile bike ride in them from yesterday.
oh - and that little half marathon from a few days ago. oy.

i wanted to stop so badly. that, or cry. with about 2 miles to go - my coach & another fellow stopped to wait for me & we finished the run together. these thursday runs are shit ass hard. good to run with people that are way faster -- i push myself harder.

that said, though ... i do need to realize i am not invincible ... it is ok to take a break & bask in the glory of my huge accomplishment. that being TWENTY SIX minutes knocked off my PR. it's just hard to take a break ... i get a little wiggy when i'm not running 30 miles a week.